Adapting behaviour support for children with additional needs

Supporting special needs children in their emotional and behavioural development requires clarity, patience and a willingness to adjust. The 1-2-3 Magic® & Emotion Coaching for Special Needs program offers a structure that can be tailored to meet individual needs while maintaining consistency and processing time and equips parents with the tools they need to manage behaviour while remaining calm and compassionate.

Children with diagnoses such as autism, ADHD, intellectual disability, or communication delays often process information differently. They might also respond to behavioural cues in ways that reflect sensory differences, regulation challenges or cognitive variations. With this in mind, behaviour support must be adapted in a way that respects both the child’s developmental profile and their right to feel safe and understood.

Clarify expectations through repetition and visuals

Children with additional needs often benefit from repeated, concrete instructions. Instead of relying on verbal cues alone, parents and professionals can use visual tools such as schedules, cue cards or timers. These tools reduce cognitive load and help children stay on track.

The 1-2-3 counting process also becomes more effective when children know exactly what will happen next. Some families use visual step charts showing the sequence of events, including what occurs at “That’s 1”, “That’s 2” and “That’s 3”. This provides security and structure.

Slow down the pacing

Transitions can be difficult for children with additional needs, particularly when there is little warning or when tasks are layered closely together. Behavioural reminders are more effective when they are paced carefully, allowing time for processing and self-regulation.

This might involve longer pauses between counts or offering space for the child to take a breath or seek sensory input before responding. This pacing supports autonomy and reduces overwhelm.

Use emotion coaching more frequently

Emotion coaching is a key part of the program and is especially important for children with regulation challenges. Children with additional needs may struggle to identify, name or express feelings in a way that others immediately understand.

By naming the emotion and validating the experience, adults help build emotional literacy. This can be done in calm moments or after an episode of dysregulation. Over time, this practice supports self-awareness and trust.

Examples:

• “You didn’t want to stop. That’s frustrating.”

• “It’s hard when things change. I get that.”

• “You’re feeling upset. Let’s sit here together for a bit.”

Avoid power-based interactions

Many children with additional needs are sensitive to tone, facial expression or perceived criticism. When adults stay neutral and calm, it reduces tension and keeps the relationship intact. The goal is not to win. The goal is to guide. The 1-2-3 Magic® & Emotion Coaching program assists parents to control their own nervous system to remain calm and gives parents scripts to help be prepared for emotional flare ups.

Using the 1-2-3 Magic® process with a neutral tone and predictable follow-through helps build this sense of safety. It also reduces the likelihood of escalation.

Provide consistent follow-up without threat

When “That’s 3” occurs, the next step needs to be clear, proportionate and consistent. This might involve time away, a quiet reset zone, or a specific agreed consequence. The emphasis is on follow-through, not punishment.

Children learn to trust the structure when it is used consistently, with no surprises. This trust is especially important for additional needs children, who often rely on predictable patterns to feel secure.

Support regulation outside the moment

Behaviour support is most effective when it is paired with ongoing work in emotional regulation. This might involve movement breaks, sensory input, social stories or therapy support.

Adults can help by creating daily routines that support calm, using clear signals before transitions, and offering regular co-regulation when needed.

Training for teams working with families

The 1-2-3 Magic® & Emotion Coaching for Special Needs course is available for family and support workers, guidance counsellors or anyone currently certified in the 1-2-3 Magic & Emotion Coaching program. The training includes real-life examples, demonstration and tools that can be adapted to a wide range of developmental profiles.Top of Form

Join us for our next webinar on 18 July. Register here.

We will also hold a webinar on 16 October. You can register for that here.

More information: https://www.parentshop.com.au/professionals/123-magic-adapted-for-special-needs/