The conversations that shape school culture
School culture is not built in policy documents or strategic plans. It is built in moments and connections. In classrooms, in corridors, in staff rooms and front offices. And more often than not, it is shaped by how school leaders respond when things are challenging.
The quality of a school’s culture is determined not by the absence of conflict, but by how conflict is handled. When leadership teams avoid tough conversations, set unclear inconsistent expectations, or hesitate to name harmful behaviour, the result is often a culture of confusion, low trust and disengagement. On the other hand, when leaders lean into tough conversations with clarity, fairness and calm authority, they set a tone for the entire community.
The challenge of avoidance
Avoidance is a common and understandable leadership response to interpersonal tension. Understandable because challenging conversations can be uncomfortable and unpredictable. Avoidance carries long-term costs to school culture: a 2023 Gallup report on workplace engagement found that unclear expectations and unaddressed issues were key drivers of staff disengagement and attrition.1
In schools, avoidance often shows up as delayed feedback, soft-pedalled communication, or a reluctance to address staff conflict. Over time, this corrodes relationships and makes it harder to lead effectively. The longer issues are left unspoken, and tolerated the harder they are to name and shift. The more a team tiptoes around a problem, the less likely it is that anyone will take responsibility for changing it.
Conversation as leadership practice
Effective school leaders understand that tough conversations are not a distraction from their role, they are central to it. These are the conversations that set boundaries, uphold expectations and build trust. When handled well, they also strengthen staff relationships and model the kind of respectful dialogue we hope to see in classrooms.
Ginsberg and Chew (2021) in the Harvard Education Press highlight the role of psychological safety in school leadership. They argue that “a culture of trust is built through consistent, clear and courageous conversations.”2 This means not waiting for conflict to disappear on its own. It means stepping in early, being transparent, and listening with curiosity as well as conviction.
Cultural clarity through consistent language
One of the most effective ways to shift school culture is to equip all leaders with a shared language for managing tough conversations. When teams have a common vocabulary and a framework for handling conflict, it becomes easier to stay aligned, even under pressure.
This kind of cultural clarity allows for constructive disagreement and reduces the risk of emotional reactivity. It also creates an environment where staff feel respected, even when they are being challenged.
Leading through presence, not avoidance
Leadership presence is not about having all the answers. It is about showing up when it matters. In moments of tension or uncertainty, staff look to leaders for cues. They pay attention to what is said and what is not said. And in the absence of clear communication, people tend to fill the gaps with assumptions.
The research is clear. Leaders who engage in timely, respectful and consistent communication contribute to healthier school cultures, higher staff morale and better student outcomes.3
Culture is not what we proclaim. It is what we model and what we permit. In schools, the most lasting shifts often begin with a single, honest conversation.
Talk to us about how we can help you to hold those Tough Conversations for School Leaders.
References
Gallup. (2023). State of the American Workplace. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/state-american-workplace-report-2017.aspx
Ginsberg, R., & Chew, R. (2021). Leading with Courage and Compassion in Schools. Harvard Education Press.
Robinson, V. M. J. (2007). The impact of leadership on student outcomes. Leadership and Policy in Schools, 6(1), 1–24. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15700760601091267